


In the Cold Arms of Death, He Felt at Peace

by A_Wild_Imposter



Series: Remember, remember, the 16th of November [5]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dark, Death, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dream Smp, Exile, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Please Proceed With Caution, Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicide, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:07:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29233515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Wild_Imposter/pseuds/A_Wild_Imposter
Summary: Tommy bore the brunt of the heated rage of Life.So when he felt the coldness of death, he felt peace.____Or: Suicidal Tommyinnit oneshotsPLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: Remember, remember, the 16th of November [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031430
Comments: 6
Kudos: 211





	1. The Hanging Tree

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said fluff in the next fanfic, but I had difficulty writing it, so you get this sad and angsty fanfic instead.
> 
> READ THE TAGS!!! PLEASE!!!
> 
> Put yourself first, if you can't read this without getting triggered or getting uncomfortable, then don't read. Your mental health is more important than your support of me. If you think you can stomach this, then go ahead. But please take care of yourself.
> 
> Inspired by: The Hanging Tree from the hunger games movies

“Wilby! Wilby! Can you tell me a story?” 

“Okay Toms,” Wilbur smiled. “What story do you want?”

“A scary one!” Tommy exclaimed. 

“Are you sure about that?” Wilbur asked, his face showing uncertainty. “You might get nightmares if I tell you a really scary story.”

“I can handle it! I’m a big man now!” Tommy huffed, crossing his arms. Trying to make himself look more mature, but ended up looking like a puppy.

“Okay, okay,” the brunet relented. “But don’t come crying to me at night because of nightmares.”

“Promise!” the young blond exclaimed, jumping up from his spot in excitement.

“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Wilbur clears his throat, preparing to tell the story.

“There once was a man who had everything,” he started off. “A family, riches, and love. That was all he wanted out of life.”

“But the sky gods thought he was too happy, that he should be taken down a peg or two. So, they killed his family, they took away his wealth, and he was made the laughingstock of the town.”

“Why did the sky gods do that?” Tommy asked his older brother. Yeah, why did they do that. Aren’t the sky gods supposed to treasure their creations and make them happy?

Wilbur let out a sigh, “The sky gods aren’t nice, they like to toy with their creations instead of treasure them.” There was an unspoken ‘ _ I should know _ ’ in that sentence.

“Oh,” the eight-year-old muttered, this story sounds more unhappy than scary.

“Yeah,” Wilbur seemed to zone out before coming to his senses to continue the story. “The man felt so much suffering and hate, he wanted to stop it and rest.”

“So, he walked up to a hill with a single tree at night, only with one rope in hand. The next day, someone saw the body of the man, eerily hanging from the tree. They took down the body, but left the rope. But until now, when you get close enough to the tree, you can hear a song being sung, especially when no one is around. “

“How did the song go?” he asked in a small voice.

“It went like this,” he cleared his throat. “ _ Are you, are you coming to the tree? Where he strung himself up, so he can rest with ease. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be, if we met at midnight in the hanging tree _ .”

Tommy felt a shudder run through his body at the song. It must’ve shown on his face what he thought about it because Wilbur commented on it.

“Eerie right Toms?” Wilbur remarked. “They say part of the man’s soul is stuck in the place, for vengeance? Because of his death? No one knows.”

Tommy made a sound of acknowledgement at the comment.

“Scared yet?” his older brother teased. 

“Wasn’t really scared,” he mumbled. “Just a little creepy.”

“If you say so.”

They settled into comfortable silence. Until Tommy asked Wilbur a question.

“Wilby,” he saw that he captured his older brother’s attention. “Why would people kill themselves?”

He was genuinely curious. Why would anyone kill themselves when there are many ways to get back up again? To enjoy life and live to the fullest you can be.

Wilbur smiled at him, not noticing the pained look in his eye and the smile looking too strained to be an actual smile. 

“Tommy,” he started off. “There will come a time where you will understand that, when you’re older. But can you promise me something?”

“What?”   


He felt Wilbur’s hands settle on his shoulders, making him have eye contact with his older brother. 

“Always get back up again. No matter how many times the world or other people push you down, always get back up again. I don’t care how long you try to get back up, but at least you do. Promise?”

He looked into his brother’s eyes, and saw a serious and slightly pleading look. He doesn’t understand what Wilbur is going off about, but he knows that his brother is serious about this. 

He nodded his head. “Promise.”

Maybe he won’t understand why people kill themselves, but he will uphold his promise with Wilbur. No matter what.

* * *

He was so tired.

Now that he thought of it, he never not felt tired ever since coming on to this trash pile of land. But this exile made him feel a sort of bone deep exhaustion. 

He thought that after everything that happened, he can rest, he can be at peace, he can be with his friends and family. He can stop being the hero, the protagonist of this fucked-up tale.

But as he learned, fate is never kind to its champions. 

He was exiled, pushed away from his friends and family. Assuming they were his friends and family, seeing as they never visited him out here.

He only had two friends out here, but he thinks that he failed them both, just like the others.

Dream and Ranboo are his only friends. But he thinks that Dream is a closer friend than Ranboo.

Sure Dream would beat him, but only when he misbehaved. He deserved it after all, he was just a burden to others. He would always blow up his stuff each day, but that’s okay! He’s naturally selfish and Dream is helping him curb that selfishness. Selfishness is a bad trait to have. 

Sure he feels like something painful struck his heart whenever he sees Dream blow up the stuff he made. Sure he feels like he’s on the verge of tears when Dream shouts at him for being stupid and other stuff. But that’s just the greed and selfishness talking. Dream is doing a favor for him, Dream is his friend. He’s just stomping out the selfishness out of him. Sure he’s getting hurt physically, but he deserves that. Dream knows that and doesn’t sugar coat things for him and tells him that he’s a burden and such things like that. 

Unlike Dream, who visits him daily, Ranboo barely visits him. Which is better than not being visited at all. 

Every time Ranboo visits him, they always talk and hang out before he has to go. Too soon in his opinion, but he has no right to ask him to stay longer. It seems selfish to do so. And selfishness is bad. Ranboo is already visiting him out of the goodness of his heart, don’t make yourself more of a burden than you already are. 

Everything was fine. His constant visits from Dream and his few visits from Ranboo kept him company. Made him not feel alone and exhausted. But that didn’t last too long, and as usual it was his own fault. 

He shouldn’t have tried to hide his tools from Dream, he was just helping. Now because of his selfishness, Dream blew up his home and destroyed all his belongings. He cried that day, from the beatings, from the destruction, from being left alone again because who would stay with him when he keeps on being selfish and disobeying every order? He doesn’t know why he’s crying, he deserved everything that is coming to him.

He remembered the first few days without Dream visiting him. He was ready to beg on his knees, ready to apologize for everything, but he wasn’t there. Dream left him all alone. He deserved this after all. 

He remembered why he hated being alone.

He can distract himself from the thoughts. His friends always make him not think of those thoughts. It could be Dream’s beatings or Ranboo’s banter, it always worked and distracted him on how awful he felt.

Now, he had no one but these thoughts. He wanted it to stop. He wanted to rest.

The thoughts always whispered poisonous things, threatening him to drown from all the heartache and suffering. It felt like swimming through a thunderstorm, no matter how much he tried to reach the surface, he would always get pushed down with another wave.

The thoughts always said that everyone will be better without him.  _ Just drown _ , they always said.  _ Tie a rope around your neck, jump from a high place, slit your wrists open, just stop existing. You’re just a burden to everyone. You know you want to do it, so why stop yourself? _

He always pushed those thoughts away, he knew people would miss him. He held onto the hope that everything will be better, he can go back to his friends and family, he can rest. That people will miss him. 

But here he was, sitting all alone in a crater caused by his mistake. Dream left him because he is a bad person. He only burdens Ranboo, he knows Ranboo is guilty, he’s only visiting him out of guilt. Tubbo won’t care if he’s gone or not.

So, he made a decision. The first decision he made with all everyone’s wants in mind.

He’s going to disappear from their lives forever. End it so that everyone can be happy. 

He grabs the remains of a lead from the crater, and starts walking around to find a tree.

He decided to hang himself so that everyone can see that he died and they can rejoice. They can rejoice that their burden is finally gone. 

Once he reaches a tree, he sits down and starts tying the noose. A necklace of hope that everyone will be at peace once he’s gone. That he can finally rest. 

He hums a song while he works, a song about a man who lost everything and died because he can’t go on any longer. He remembered an older brother, who was once caring and warm, now cold and dead. He remembered the promise he made, and smiled a sad smile to himself. Another broken promise to add to the pile. 

Once he finishes, he hangs the rope on a stable branch, making sure he doesn’t fall once he does it. 

Once he does, he puts his head through the noose, assuring himself that it will all be okay once he stops breathing. That everything will be okay.

His feet leave the ground, he can feel the rope constricting his throat. He can see the black overcoming his vision.

_ I know now Wilbur,  _ he thought to himself before he dies,  _ I know why people give up now. _

And before he knows it, he’s gone. He’s finally at ease.

* * *

Tubbo was nervous. 

Why wouldn’t he be? He basically exiled his best friend, and here he was going to see him. He had no idea how Tommy would react to him.

He would rather Tommy be angry at him. It was familiar to him. Sure it would hurt, but it would at least prove that Tommy is still the same. He feels like the world is changing too fast for him, he doesn’t want to be left behind. He wants at least one person with him when the world passes them by.

He’s afraid that Tommy changed without him. That he left him behind. He’s okay with that. After all, he turned his back away from Tommy. Doesn’t stop him from being afraid though.

Ranboo shook him out of his inner thoughts. He looked and saw they were in front of the nether portal already. Time seems to fly by when he’s stuck in his thoughts.

“Are you ready?” Ranboo asked him, making sure he wanted to do this. Making sure he wanted to see Tommy.

Part of him just wants to turn around and get away from here. Not wanting to see the consequences of his actions. Wanting to avoid inevitable confrontation.

But he hardened his resolve. He turned his back away from Tommy once, he won’t do it again.

He nodded his head. “I’m ready.”

Ranboo nodded his head and entered the portal before him. He followed through and escaped the heated environment.

Shaking away the dizziness of portal travelling, he looked and saw a sight he wished he never saw.

Logsteadshire was blown up, with no Tommy to be seen.

They both searched and searched, trying to find the blonde from the ruins. He can’t lose Tommy, he can’t. He doesn’t want his last interaction with his best friend to be his exile.

He was about to lose hope until he heard something.

_ “-oming to the tree? He strung himself up so he may rest with ease. Strange-” _

He can barely hear the song, it was like a whisper. But the more he listened to it, the more familiar it sounded. 

_ Tommy.  _ The singer sounded like Tommy.

He glanced over to Ranboo and saw he connected the same dots as he did. 

They rushed over to the source of the music, filled with hope that their friend is still alive. They were too caught up with their happiness to think about the ominous lyrics of the song. 

They saw a figure standing under the tree. They walked towards it, sure enough to believe it’s Tommy under that tree.

As they slowly approached the tree, Tubbo made a horrifying observation.

Tommy’s feet were off the ground.

“No,” he whispered to himself, “S-surely not.”

He heard Ranboo’s sharp intake of breath. Telling him that he saw it too.

He still walked towards the tree, not believing what he saw. His mind is just playing tricks on him. Tommy is just standing under that tree, singing a tune. He wouldn’t be hearing the singing if Tommy was dead, right?

But no, his worst fears were confirmed.

Hanging there was his best friend’s limp body. Looking eerily calm and peaceful. One would mistake him for sleeping, if he wasn’t hanging off a rope around his neck.

He felt tears stream down his face as he backed off in disbelief. 

“No, this couldn’t be happening," he muttered to himself, still staring at the hanging body

He did this. He drove his best friend to the point of suicide. 

He fell to his knees in front of the body and cried. Cried of the loss of his best friend and the guilt of driving him to this point.

While this goes on, the haunting melody sung by a boy who lost too much, tormented the boy with the world on his shoulders to remind him of his mistakes. 

  
  
  



	2. Come Little Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death was always portrayed as a scary figure. Something that was meant to bring fear into people’s hearts. Be it a skeleton with a black cloak and an imposing scythe, or a pale businessman with a cold and cruel demeanor, looking for souls to take. Looking for what family to take apart by claiming their souls as his own.
> 
> But there are always exceptions. There are times where Death is portrayed as a comforting and peaceful presence. Be it a winged man here to gently guide someone to the afterlife, or a caring woman here to comfort and reassure that everything will be alright, that they can rest now. A refuge to the lost and weary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE TAGS!!! PLEASE!!!
> 
> Put yourself first, if you can't read this without getting triggered or getting uncomfortable, then don't read. Your mental health is more important than your support of me. If you think you can stomach this, then go ahead. But please take care of yourself.
> 
> Inspired by: Come Little Children by Erutan
> 
> Tw: death, intentional harm to self, heat exhaustion, short description of a panic attack

Death was always portrayed as a scary figure. Something that was meant to bring fear into people’s hearts. Be it a skeleton with a black cloak and an imposing scythe, or a pale businessman with a cold and cruel demeanor, looking for souls to take. Looking for what family to take apart by claiming their souls as his own.

But there are always exceptions. There are times where Death is portrayed as a comforting and peaceful presence. Be it a winged man here to gently guide someone to the afterlife, or a caring woman here to comfort and reassure that everything will be alright, that they can rest now. A refuge to the lost and weary. 

The truth is, Death is both of these personalities. They are both a foreboding figure and a comforting concept.

They become a scary figure to those who have done so much bad in their life and not regret it. The abusers, the cold blooded killers, those who did great evils. To those they feel that deserve death. Those that they will gladly bring their souls to eternal damnation.

They become a comforting presence to those they think that needs it, deserves it. The ones who were tired from living and gave up, the ones who lost too much, the children who came too early into their realm, and the ones whose soul is raw and hurt that the coldness of their arms soothe those wounds. These are the ones that Death took extra care of them while bringing them into eternal paradise. 

Very few remember the comforting side of Death, much less the fact that they are one and the same. Humans always think it’s one or the other, no exceptions. This doesn’t bother them anyways, humans only see Death once before they go to the afterlife.

* * *

Tommy is back here again. In the nether, on the ledge overseeing the vast amount of lava down below. 

He decides to hide out in the nether. This is the only nearest place he could think of to hide from Dream. He doesn’t want to stay with him anymore, he was too tense, too on guard with him around. Even without him while he was in Logsteadshire, he was too afraid to rest. 

At first, he wanted to feel comfort when he felt really lonely during exile. He wanted to feel another presence, he didn’t want to be alone. 

So, he turned to Dream. 

He took every scrap of affection and comfort from the man. In truth, he’s clingy. But he would die before he admitted that to anyone.

He became dependent on Dream for affection, for comfort. And for a while, the masked man gave it. Sparingly of course, to keep him under control. 

Then Ranboo gave him that same comfort unconditionally, he slowly stopped being so dependent from Dream.

Then Dream found out about it.

The masked man stopped Ranboo from visiting somehow. He didn’t know how he did it, but he did.

He also stopped giving him the already small scraps of affection that was getting him through this exile. 

He would get angry at him when he tried to get something comforting from him. His dependence on him for comfort has dwindled and he became afraid of him once again.

When the fear became too much, when it was threatening to swallow him whole, he fled to the nether. The closest place where he can try and escape from Dream.

It worked for a while, he was caught up with the euphoria and adrenaline of being free from the masked man’s grasp. To not be in fear of every little action he did.

Then that feeling faded, and was replaced with the scorching heat of the nether and the danger this dimension contains.

He was also afraid of Dream catching up on him. So he ventured even deeper into the nether, away from any sign that people have been here. 

It worked. He hasn’t seen any sign of anyone ever since he escaped, that was a good thing. He tried to convince himself.

He felt so lonely, but that’s fine with him. Anything to get away from Dream.

The further he travelled through the nether, the more exhausted he became. He started becoming dizzy and experiencing more headaches. His muscles started cramping more to the point he has to take more breaks from travelling. He thinks the heat is getting to him. He wants the heat and loneliness to stop.

Sometimes he would watch the large lava pool below, contemplating on ending it all. Especially on the days where the loneliness and heat became too much for him to handle. 

He would always walk away from the ledge at the end of the day, but today felt different. He felt more hopeless and tired today. He wanted nothing more than to just end it all and feel the cold arms of death. 

He started to see black dots surround his vision, the heat must be really affecting him. 

He tried to stand up to go to his makeshift base, but he felt too weak to do so. He felt clammy all over, he could feel his heartbeat going haywire. He felt like he was dying. 

_ Is this how it ends? _ , he asked himself. Lying down on a ledge in the middle of the nowhere in the nether. Dying to heat exhaustion to all things. He always thought he would die in battle, fighting to the end with friends and allies at his side.

He teared up at that thought. He doesn’t get to die with anyone nearby. He was going to die alone on this ledge. No one will be able to find his body, he travelled too far. Is anyone gonna find him? Will they even care if he was gone? Will they even make a funeral for him? Oh Prime, there won’t be a body to bury. They will think he either died or fucked off to some obscure place. 

Those thoughts sent him spiraling. Suddenly it was hard for him to breathe, his headaches are getting worse to the point that makes him want to vomit. He can feel his heart beating even faster at an irregular pace. 

Everything felt like it’s closing in on him. The thoughts are filling his head with static. He can’t hear, his tears and the black dots are obscuring his vision, and he can’t  _ breathe, make it stop please- _

_ “Come little children, I’ll take thee away, into a land of enchantment...” _

It seemed like everything stopped. The thoughts abruptly stopped. He can finally breathe, his hearing returned to normal, the headache is gone and for once in a long time he felt comforted and at peace. 

He felt like he was swaddled in a blanket of cold. Not the biting frost back in Logsteadshire, but the like a cold breeze on a hot summer night. It was refreshing and cool, cool enough to not feel the heat of the nether.

The voice kept singing to him in a calm and soft voice. It makes him want to stay like this forever. Curled up in a soothing coolness while a calming voice sung him to sleep. He felt comforted and safe in this small area. 

_ “Follow sweet children, I’ll show thee the way, through all the pain and the sorrows…” _

He felt like he was being carried away from where he laid. Away from all the pain and the heat.

He opened his eyes just a bit and saw a bright light, in which he’s being carried to. 

Tommy started to panic, but the panic was soon gone once he felt a hand comb through his hair in a calming manner.

He soon fell asleep, too tired to fight for consciousness and was all too willing to stay like this forever.

* * *

Death carried the boy into the afterlife. 

They saw how raw and hurt his soul is, and decided that he needed to feel comforted on his journey to the afterlife.

Heat exhaustion is a painful way to go, but from what they saw, it looked like it was deliberate. Like he didn’t care that he was slowly dying.

The poor boy had suffered enough, they decided to carry the boy to the afterlife. To carry him home from a battlefield.

They looked down and saw the boy let out a sigh of relief as they combed through his hair. They knew that this boy deserved to live in paradise for eternity. 

The universe can be kind sometimes, and paradise was it’s reward to him for going through what he did.

_ “Rest now my children, for soon we’ll away, into the calm and the quiet…” _

Tommyinnit can rest among the stars, where it is calm and quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really my best, idk what was going on in the middle. But hope you still like it.
> 
> Join the Discord!
> 
> The Writer's Block: https://discord.gg/EAnYVTxB

**Author's Note:**

> Join the Discord!
> 
> The Writer's Block: https://discord.gg/7EHKbsyb


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